Denial Isn't Just A River In Egypt
by Kawaii-Hime-Ceres
Summary: Male Pregnancy.  What happens when Yuugi and Yami get pregnant at the same time?  Insanity!  And, they aren't the only ones to find out they are pregnant.  Pairs listed within.  Please R&R!
1. Pickles and Peanut Butter

**I did something similar to this before. It was called Buns in the Oven. Feeling that it was best to leave that fic alone since it had been forever since I last wrote anything for it I decided to do something new. **

**Thus far for pairings: Yuugi/Yami, Anzu/Mai, Jou/Honda, Seto/Otogi, Ryo/Malik (light), Bakura/Marik (dark), Mokuba/?.**

**Some pairings you'll probably see more than others.  
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**Male Pregnancy! Yaoi! Enjoy!**

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><p>Yuugi clutched the jars of peanut butter and pickles as if his very life depended on it. Currently he was staring down Yami, "No way are you getting my stuff!" Initially thinking such a combination was super gross he did not understand why he wanted it- much less Yami.<p>

"B-Bu-But Yuugi," Yami whined and he reached out for the jars and got nothing but air. "Pl-Plea-Please," he whined some more as he took a couple of steps forward. "You know you want to share!" He put on his best pout face.

"No!" Yuugi narrowed his eyes. "Mine!" He growled possessively. He did not care if there was plenty for the both of them he was not going to take the chance that there was not. "Go get your own." He wished Yami would leave the room for just five minutes so he could stuff his face without fear of his lover running off with his jars of pickles and peanut butter.

"You've got more than enough," Yami said as he attempted to corner Yuugi so that he could get what he desired. Instead, he got more air. His lethal little lover had managed to duck, avoiding his hold, and run out of the room.

Yuugi made a mad dash for the bathroom. The only room in the house he knew Yami would not follow him to. Okay, so he would, but it had a lock and that would surely keep his lover out! Once locked securely in there Yami would not be able to get his jars of pickles and peanut butter, unless of course he managed to pick the lock. He shook the later thought from his mind.

Yami pounded on the bathroom door. Sure, he could have picked the lock but that was a lot of trouble to go through for a jar of pickles and peanut butter- even if he really, really wanted the stuff. He sighed and turned around to lean on the door. He slid down until he was sitting. His stomach rumbled, it told him that he was hungry.

Despite the thick door being closed Yuugi heard Yami's stomach. He felt a little bad for being so selfish. He glanced at the pickle he had just dipped into the peanut butter. As much as he wanted to eat it, he could not. His victory felt empty because his lover had lost out. They usually found a way to share everything. He unlocked the door and held out the pickle covered in peanut butter as a means of truce. He still was not going to surrender the jars of pickles and peanut butter.

"Thanks," Yami grinned and happily took the pickle that his lover had offered him. He was already making a mental note to pick up a couple extra jars of each the next time they went to the store so that they would not argue again over it. As childish as it would be, they would probably have to write their names on the jars.

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><p>It had been a month since their tiff over pickles and peanut butter. Their little one bedroom with one bathroom house was quickly becoming a place of torture. They fought constantly over the toilet and pillows on the bed. When they were not fighting over that, they were fighting over whom was going to wear the pants that use to be a size to big that now fit perfectly. Both refusing to go and buy new pants because they refused to believe that they could be gaining weight, simply put the pants had shrunk.<p>

Mai hesitantly knocked on the door. Everything seemed calm from where she stood, but still that meant nothing. Half the time when she let herself in, she had walked into some sort of stare down between the two. They fought over everything these days, even the trivial stuff. In the end, thankfully, they ended up laughing over it. She and everyone else for that matter wished the two would just grow up a little, admit things were changing, and go buy doubles of everything. The little tiffs where starting to affect everyone.

"I brought you guys something," Mai called out as she stepped inside. How she had let herself get roped into this she was not exactly sure, she was not exactly the bravest of the bunch. She also half wondered why her lover had not tagged along, even if just for moral support. She sighed softly as she waited for the two to pop out form wherever.

Yuugi appeared first holding an empty jar of pickles. "Pickles?" He asked hopefully. He looked like a small child with his large, hope filled eyes. He really did not want to have to go to the store but it was looking like he would have to.

Yami appeared just behind Yuugi holding an empty jar of peanut butter. "Or, peanut butter?" He asked just as hopeful as his lover had. He looked almost depressed as he glanced from his empty jar to Yuugi's.

"Did you two seriously manage to eat an entire jar of pickles? And, an entire jar of peanut butter?" Mai half wondered what happened to their spare jars. Knowing them, they had already finished those as well. She laughed inwardly. "Well, you're in luck. But, only if you promise to share."

"We'll share!" They both chirped in unison. Anything to get what they wanted, they would even share. As of late they were forced to learn how to share what they craved. What that ultimately meant was that they had to be overstocked on most everything and pray to Rah that they never ran out. Which is what happened today, they ran out.

"I thought you might be running low," Mai lied as she handed Yuugi the brown paper bag. "We had some spare jars of pickles and peanut butter," she continued to lie hoping that neither would see through her.

Everyone had collectively insisted that she and Anzu buy the two a pregnancy test or two. They had been elected to do so because they were female. Female or not it was still embarrassing. So tucked in the bag under everything else was those tests.

"Enjoy," Mai smiled weakly as the two smiled happily back at her. She just prayed that the two would get the hint. "Well, that's all I wanted to do so I'll be going now," she pointed behind her before turning to make a run for it. She had to make it look like nothing was up but it was hard.

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><p>Yuugi glanced over at Yami as Yami glanced over at him. They shrugged Mai's hasty departure off and happily took the bag to the kitchen. They were just happy to have pickles and peanut butter again.<p>

"I think Mai left something behind," Yami said as he pulled out the pregnancy tests that he had found at the bottom of the bag. He set them on the table and threw the bag away.

Yuugi had occupied himself with trying to getting the new pickle jar open. He glanced up when he heard Yami mention about Mai leaving something behind. "Oh," it was his only form of counter conversation. He had yet to see what it was exactly that Mai had left behind.

"Here let me help us out," Yami said abandoning the tests and taking the pickle jar from Yuugi so that he could open it. It did not take him but a second, after which he grinned. "Piece of cake," he chuckled and handed Yuugi a pickle.

"Or, piece of pickle," Yuugi teased as he took the offered pickle. With his other hand and arm he opened the jar of peanut butter and put it between them. "So what did Mai forget to take with her?" He asked now mildly curious that his lover had opened the jar of pickles and he had what he wanted.

"Pregnancy tests," Yami said nonchalantly as he took a pickle from the jar and dipped it into the peanut butter. He was more entranced with watching Yuugi eat, he could not put his finger on why but today in particular and the past couple of days he had been particularly horny. Yuugi was not complaining much about this because he seemed to be matching him feeling for feeling.

"Don't know why she would have them. Unless of course she cheated on Anzu which we know would not happen in a million years." Yuugi was currently more interested in licking the peanut butter off the pickle rather than eating it whole. He smirked when he saw what it was doing to Yami.

"Do you know how fuck-able you look right now," Yami said as he leaned over the table, tests forgotten, and oddly enough his own pickle with peanut butter abandoned. He pulled Yuugi the rest of the way to him.

Yuugi laughed as he pulled across the table. "Do pickles with peanut butter turn you on that much?" He teased. He snaked his tongue around the pickle as he licked off some more peanut butter. He sighed contently as his eyes half closed.

"You could make anything a turn on," Yami moaned as he fisted Yuugi's shirt. The second his lover's mouth was not occupied he occupied it with his. He pushed his tongue in and he tasted pickles and peanut butter. It was twice as good with his lover's own flavor added.

Yuugi with use of his tongue fought back playfully. He never intented to be the dominate party in the kiss. He managed to carefully push the peanut butter and pickles out of the way, as he climbed the rest of the way on to the table. Simply put the bedroom was too damn far away!


	2. Lucky Panties

**Thus far for pairings: Yuugi/Yami, Anzu/Mai, Jou/Honda, Seto/Otogi, Ryo/Malik (light), Bakura/Marik (dark), Mokuba/?.**

**Some pairings you'll probably see more than others.  
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**Male Pregnancy! Yaoi! Enjoy!**

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><p>Yami held the phone between his ear and his shoulder. He was in the process of trying to get a hold of Mai while cleaning up the mess they had made earlier. "How in Rah's name did we manage to smear peanut butter the length of the table?"<p>

"Well hello to you too," Mai laughed. "I take it you enjoyed our little gift. But you know that you are suppose to eat it, not play with it," she teased. "I'm sure that you did not call to discuss the uses of peanut butter though so how can I help you?"

"Hello Mai, sorry about that," Yami groaned. "From the state of our kitchen we probably enjoyed it too much," he chuckled. "I agree, enough about our peanut butter. I called because you left something else in the bag."

"You are too funny!" Mai inhaled deeply in an attempt to catch her breath from having laughed so hard. Her sides were starting to ache; she really did not think that should could take another round of laugher. "They were meant for the both you."

Yami was not laughing as hard as Mai; he blamed the fact of him being in the process of cleaning up the mess. "You do realize we are both guys," he said matter-of-factly.

"Let's see," Mai said as she twirled her fingers in her hair, not that Yami could see this. "Does it make a difference? I mean, come on, you cannot tell me it is normal to eat pickles and peanut butter together like your life is depending on it. I would go as far as to say that you are moody and gaining weight. Nevertheless, you know I am not a doctor. I am just saying."

"You are seriously over analyzing things," Yami said as he glanced over at Yuugi who was currently in the process of running about the kitchen in nothing but a towel. He was humming as he put together dinner for them. Okay, so maybe they had gained an extra pound or two. He frowned for a moment.

"Whatever Yami," Mai teased. "One or both of you is pregnant. I'll bet you my lucky panties I'm right." She knew that she was dead on, just not how right she was.

"What in Rah's name would I do with your panties? Lucky or not!" Yami cringed when Yuugi dropped the pot of water on the floor. Yuugi had dropped it out of shock of hearing that Mai was going to give Yami her underwear. If loosing meant owning a pair of Mai's panties, he seriously wanted to be on the wining end. "Just keep your panties and try not to twist them too much. I've got to go help clean up another mess," his voice held frustration as he ended the call. He really did not want to hear anything else the woman had to say right now.

Yuugi had given up the towel that had hung loosely around his waist to use it to clean up the water. "So what did she have to say about leaving those things in the bag?" After hearing only bits of the conversation between Yami and Mai he was not sure he really wanted to know, but curiosity got the better of him.

"She seems to think that either you or I is pregnant. She was willing to bet her panties on it," Yami sighed as he grabbed the roll of paper towels. He was doing his best to help clean up the mess. He would have to figure out a way later to soothe his frazzled lover.

"That's just fucked up. And, what is even more fucked up is that she won't stop till we humor her," Yuugi growled as he stood up on shaky legs to toss the soaked towel into the sink. "Fuck dinner. Let's just call for a pizza or something." He felt light in the head as his stomach started to knot up.

"Yuugi you're looking a little green. Are you feeling okay?" Yami said as he tossed the wet paper towels into the garbage can. "This isn't a big deal. Nothing to get sick over," he cooed as he rubbed his lover's back. "Like you said we just humor her."

"So do you want to humor her now or after pizza? Because either way I'm going to throw up," Yuugi's nerves could not take anything else today. First Mai played doctor, then Mai had bet her panties, and now there was a huge pink elephant was sitting in the room that Mai had caused.

"If that is the case I say just go ahead and get it over with. At least after you're done praying to the Porcelain God you'll have comfort food," Yami was trying to make light of matters. He cracked a small smile as he handed his light one of the boxes.

"These aren't even for guys!" Yuugi groaned as he looked at the box. Unlike Yami he could not smile, he did not have a reason to. This was probably one of the top ten most humiliating moments in his life.

"It isn't like they make them for guys and put them on the shelf for you to buy as an everyday item." Yami had said it to himself because Yuugi had already left the kitchen. He however was unaware of this because was currently flipping the box about, reading every inch of it whether it was useful or not.

"You're turn." Yuugi sat his down on the kitchen table face down. "It isn't that hard Yami that you have to study the box like you are preparing for an exam." He grinned. It was actually entertaining to watch Yami when he was so into something that he did not realize anything else existed.

Yami's cheeks turned pink, had he really been staring/'reading' the box the entire time. He had not even realized that his lover had gone and come back. "I guess it is my turn next," he sighed. This was one of the last things he ever thought he would be doing.

The damn thing sitting on the kitchen table had been taunting Yuugi the entire four minutes his dark had been in the bathroom. "You didn't look right?" He questioned the moment he saw Yami come into the kitchen.

"Didn't look," Yami said simply as he handed his to Yuugi. He kissed Yuugi gently on the lips and smiled before he picked up his lover's test from the kitchen counter. "You know I hope Mai is wrong. The last thing I want to own is her panties."

That little joke actually got them both to laughing. "No kidding," Yuugi said in between breaths. He had really needed that laugh. "Owning Mai's panties would be a little hard to explain to the rest of our friends."

"Count of three-" They chimed together as if it was suddenly a game of rock paper scissors. It only took another second for them to flip the tests over and see the results. "It's positive," they said in unison. Another second passed before their eyes went large and they both collapsed on the floor out of shock.

They were officially going to be parents! And, owners of Mai's lucky panties...


	3. What's one more?

**Thus far for pairings: Yuugi/Yami, Anzu/Mai, Jou/Honda, Seto/Otogi, Ryo/Malik (light), Bakura/Marik (dark), Mokuba/?.**

**Some pairings you'll probably see more than others.  
><strong>

**Male Pregnancy! Yaoi! Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Seto had about worn a pattern on his rug as he paced around and around his desk. Finally when he had about made himself dizzy he sat down. After glancing at the picture of Otogi he put his face in his hands. "Fuck- it's in the water," he growled and slammed one fist on the desk. The other slid up a bit so that his forehead rested on his palm. He was in as much denial as his rivals turned allies had been when they had found out.<p>

"What's in the water?" Yami asked having apparently come in at the tail end of a conversation, and obviously at a bad time. He had come to talk to Seto face to face to personally request a leave of absence for both himself and Yuugi.

Seto's eyes narrowed. No one knew of his dilemma but himself and he really wanted to keep it that way. However, he knew that despite what he wanted he was not going to get it. In the end, everyone would know. "He's too damn busy to have a relationship," he mumbled moodily. Not that he had said it yet but that was not the biggest problem he was facing.

"You both are a bit too damn busy," Yami pointed out as he sat down in the chair opposite from Seto. "Your relationship with him was casual; a good fuck at best and you knew that from the start- both of you did."

"Well aren't you just Mr. Reality at his finest," Seto glared at Yami. "Not everyone is as lucky as you, you know." He drew in a deep breath trying to ease the queasy feeling that had suddenly come over him.

Yami stood up and walked around the desk to rub Seto's back as a means to comfort him, even if just a little. "You want me to take you to the doctors?" He offered when he saw Seto turn pale- he almost had that expression Yuugi did before he was on his knees in front of the porcelain throne.

Any other time Seto would have swatted a comforting hand away- because, he was strong than that and needed no one. However, today he was feeling pretty shitty, weak, and vulnerable. "Why? To confirm that I am just as knocked up as the two of you," he groaned as he reached for the trashcan.

Yami had to recompose himself so that he could act as if that news had not shocked him at all, when actually it had. "That explains why you are so pissed that he called off the arrangement," he mused aloud as he continued to massage Seto's back. "What are you going to do?"

"Get rid of it," Seto said, without second thought and just barely, before empting his entire stomach contents into the garbage can. He mentally noted that until he had he was going to have to start coming into work later because this would surely raise questions.

Now that did shock Yami, he stopped massaging Seto's back. He knew that Seto could have a cold shoulder to most but when it came to his brother that was an entirely different mater. Therefore, why could he not fit a baby in? He just did not see him as being this cold or ruthless.

"Don't even go there with those self righteous bullshit speeches of yours." Seto growled as he gripped the garbage can so tight his knuckles turned white. "I don't have time to raise another kid."

"Just have the baby. Yuugi and I will raise it." Yami blurted out without even thinking through what he was saying. Maybe it was the hormones from him being pregnant but he could not stand thought of anyone having an abortion.

"Do you know how crazy that idea of yours is?" Seto asked as he sat up and looked Yami in the eyes.

"Do I care?" Yami asked as he shrugged his shoulders. "All I've got to say is that if you agree you let us legally adopt." He probably sounded crazy considering that he was saying that they were willing to raise three possibly more kids at once. "Come over any time- you can be uncle Seto."

"If I didn't know better I'd say you had been planning this all along." Seto sighed in defeat. He smiled when he heard the phrase 'uncle Seto', he kind of like that and could certainly grow fond of it. "We'll work out the details later."


End file.
